THE NOTHING FEEDS
I woke up early Wednesday morning at 1:30am and couldn't go back to sleep so I decided to read some news at the Huffington Post. A banner across the top read Harsh Interrogation Tactics Used To Find Iraq-al Qaida Link and it shocked me to the point that I started reading. The article validated a long standing fear that the Bush administration had made a political calculation to install a torture state in our name so as to bolster a rational for starting an illegal preemptive war. The chill that went down my spine reading the article made going back to sleep impossible.
Within the article was a link to the 232-page, newly declassified report published by the Armed Services Committee on November 20, 2008. The report clearly spelled out what we had all assumed was going on but could not prove. A context for the abuses of Abu Gharib came into clear focus as the sun came up and I rushed off to work.
As is often the case, I was unaware that my psyche had been cast over a cliff. I proceeded through my day in the typical robotic state. By the end of the day I noticed something was wrong. I had been rude to a friend at work and snapped at him and all day long my throat was hurting. I figured I was getting sick and was justifiably tired so when I got home I decided to go to bed early and eat right and not drink anything but water. I expected to wake up with a fever or feel fine.
Again, I could not sleep and woke up again real early and decided to take Excedrin PM to sedate my head back into a coma. It worked, I got up in time for work but hardly felt rested. I guess it was after lunch before I had noticed I was wearing all black and my throat was still hurting with no other symptoms. I also noticed that I've been near zombie like for a long time and zoning off.
I recognized how I was feeling by the time I got in my car to go home from work . It's the same feeling I had when I found out my Godfather had died. It was like the news had ripped an organ out of my chest and my sore throat was a persistent lump that had swollen up in grief as I grew to understand how inhuman our culture had become. What? Were cavemen this cruel? The knowledge that this abuse was perpetrated in my name for the sake of the GOP's political objectives dependent on greed and control was like a satanic golden shower of filth on my typically happy disposition.
I'm writing this here only to provide reason if I'm acting like a jerk. I'll blog lightly.
We are the army of the fourth branch of government and we failed our country.
