GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS

My buddy Taylor is in town today and asked if I'd have lunch with him. We both had our fill of fajitas and went to go pay. All was happy happy joy joy but things were about to change. I'm waiting for Taylor to finish his transaction when the odious Congressman Sam Johnson walks in. I uttered his name in disbelief that I was standing close enough to pee on him but in too public a place to do it. Blue gray hair everywhere.

I just couldn't make a scene standing there next to Taylor but Sam heard me utter his name. He unfolded his clinched icy arthritic hand and extended it my way even though I was trying to look away.

As his hand was out he said "Yes, that's me, what is your name?"

I didn't know what to do. I was afraid my fajitas would be on his shoes soon and I'd be immediately tasered. So I finally stuck my hand out to grip his evil and answered "My name is Muqtada al Zaidi".

His face changed and turned away.

GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS